How can I get my aging parent(s) to accept help?
While there are many agencies that exist to serve older adults and those with disabilities, your parent or grandparent may see the assistance as unnecessary or an invasion of privacy. It may also be viewed in terms of a loss of independence or a waste of money. It is very common for an older loved one to resist the idea of having strangers come into their home, or to think about moving out of their home into another. But there are some things that can make these changes a little easier.
The very first step is to listen to and accept your loved one’s fears and reasons for not wanting to make these changes. Really try to understand and empathize with what they are feeling. (Keep in mind you, too, will hopefully reach this age one day.) 
Whenever possible, try to get your parent involved in the process of selecting the in-home assistant, the day program or the care home. Having some control over the situation can make all the difference to your family member when it comes to accepting the changes.
Another thing that helps is to introduce the assistance or transition into your parent’s life gradually. Here is what that could look like: Have a new in-home care aide come in a few hours a week to begin with, to see if she and your loved one are compatible, then gradually increase the hours. Likewise, you can start by attending a day program once or twice to see how it fits, or try a short-term trial stay before moving into a facility. Another idea is to get your parent’s doctor involved in recommending the new support system. Physicians are often seen as authority figures, and may have some persuasive power with your loved one in this regard.
Sometimes it is helpful to state the need as yours. You can explain that is reassuring for you to know that someone is there to help your mom or dad when you aren’t there. It gives you peace of mind. You can also make it clear that you are not abandoning her, but that you will still be a big part of her life.
Finally, remember that unless your loved one has dementia, he or she still has the right to make their own decisions, even ones that you don’t agree with. Allowing them to make choices that you don’t like may make your role more difficult, but ultimately you cannot force your parent to do things he/she is not ready or willing to do.
At Harmony Senior Homes we understand the complexity of family dynamics and that sometimes tough decisions have to be navigated. Contact us to see if our Adult Family Homes can be part of your solution.